Your New Surrogate Father Figure

Today on Maury Povich...

It's Father's Day this weekend, and I got my mandatory visit to my father at the nursing home last week. He doesn't even know what month it is, and besides the only real holidays in his mind has always been Thanksgiving and the NFL draft.

It has been noted for years the rise of surrogate father figures, for even if you had a dad, many were often largely absent. This is coupled with our society prioritizing females and their ways of doing things, down to openly degenerating men out in the open with impunity. This has spawned whole ecosystems of grifting. I'm thinking specifically of "The Red Pill" and "Manosphere" communities. I would also throw in MGTOW ("Men Going Their Own Way") but that movement is more of a gathering point for older burnouts that rarely appeals to the droves of young lost men.

This got me thinking if there is not something better, another figure to offer good guidance for what is now whole generations of men clearly craving it. And before you think "He's going to say Jesus isn't he?", while I'm not opposed to that, that's not where this is going.

But before I offer my alternative, let's do a run down of two of the biggest names in this space.

Andrew Tate

Pros

• Accomplished kick boxer and businessman

• Not afraid to be overtly masculine

• Very intelligent and humorous

• Has a general tough love message of "Pull yourself up by the bootstraps. You can do it lads!"

Cons

• His business portfolio is largely sleazy, consisting of managing cam girls and accused of running outright scams on his followers

• Charged with sex trafficking in multiple countries

• Promotes a worldview that is inherently misogynistic, almost openly saying you should treat women as objects

• Possibly a closeted homosexual

The self anointed Top-G himself. Osama Bin Laden's old quote about "If you put a weak horse next to a strong horse, people generally prefer the strong horse" has really been proven by the ascent of this guy. With a strong record as an accomplished kick boxer, alongside his various videos posing shirtless in front of Bugattis, Tate has taken this "strong horse" PR strategy to new heights.

He's done an interesting inversion of affiliate marketing, where affiliate marketers spam clips of the Top-G’s ranting to Tiktok, and acts as a way for Tate to skirt deplatforming, while taking advantage of Tiktok's algorithm of giving new accounts a boost. This creates a hydra of never ending redpill bottles. This is how he went from a figure largely confined to right wing digital ghettos to becoming something of a semi-mainstream figure.

But we can't ignore the elephant in the room, that being his various charges of human trafficking across multiple countries, mainly from his home base in Romania. I had assumed for years that his soft form pimping via getting women to webcam for lonely men relied on equally softer pimp tactics. But if the allegations from the government of Romania are true, then he's using old fashion pimp tactics of violence and intimidation, even if he found a legal avenue for the oldest profession.

There is a double dip aspect to Tate's grifts. While having a harem of webcam girls to lure in vulnerable simps, he also hooking in guys who see themselves above such simpery, with dodgy courses and expensive inner group subscription services promising direct guidance from the Top-G himself. It's not unlike selling weapons to both sides of a war. The war in this case being the ongoing gender war, that is ravaging the dating prospects and happiness of young men and women alike. The fact his misogynistic rhetoric and worldview is well above the usual "fuckin' broads" talk you hear at bars all across the world does not help things.

You maybe wondering about that last bullet point. Well videos of him doing stripper dance moves are a common sight in replies from his many detractors. And while I get he has something of a trickster with machismo persona, he does make them cheeks clap a little too well. He is effectively a pimp, even if he beats the charges coming out of Romania. Any pimp will tell you the best way to control a hoe is getting into a hoe's mind. And the best way to get into a hoe's mind is to think like a hoe. Who would better understand the inner workings of a hoe than some zesty ass ni... Oh sorry, I'm still waiting for my soft "a" pass to get though the system for approval (can't wait to be able to sing along out loud with rap without worry). It would also explain his overt misogyny. If he is secretly gay, he would not be a natural loyal slave to the pussy as all straight men are, meaning he can keep his stable¹ in line without his heart or loins getting in the way.

I'm not a homophobe by any means. As a bit of a digression, one of the best books on masculinity I've read is The Way of Men by Jack Donovan. Donovan is an open homosexual, which I think gives his book a lot more weight than most on the subject. His analysis to the elusive question of what really makes a man a real man does not have the usual knee jerk need to contrast itself with the feminine and women, offering a look at masculinity largely in and of itself, and I think his sexual orientation helped in that analysis. There are passages in that book where you get the vibe he had a bit of stiffy while typing it out, something of a "Ram Ranch²" methodology, wherein his own boner acts as a calibration tool. Last time I checked on him, Donovan was apart of some Germanic Neo-Pagan group that conducts itself like a biker club.

Back to Tate's case, if he is indeed a closet case, then he is really selling a lie and tainted product to his largely straight and male audience, on top of all the other issues already mentioned.

Jordan Peterson

Pros

• Accomplished academic, author, and public speaker

• Generally has a positive message with helpful advice, with even most his critics conceding his basic self-help stuff is good

• Not an overbearing "alpha male", offering a more somber sensitive avenue for men

Cons

• Took the grifter path hard

• Has a history of substance abuse in response to looming personal tragedy

• Has clearly lost his intellectual edge in his age, substance abuse, and experimental treatment for said substance abuse

• Constantly cries

Ah yes, everyone favorite pop Jungian psychologist and lobster enthusiast. This guy was practically a messiah for a few years for young men lost in the wilderness that is modern society.

But when his wife got diagnosed with cancer a few years ago, with a high likelyhood she would not make it (she did make it and is with us), he did what most neurotic academic brainy types do, that being turning to SSRIs, to which he developed a dependence. This is despite being a life long psychologist and therapist, who had largely become a self help guru by that point. He would go off to Russia for experimental treatment on the advice of his daughter (who interestingly enough met Andrew Tate in person), and is a big believer in such things as an all meat diet. This treatment went on for months, and when he came back he clearly was not the same. If only he had gone deeper into the Russian Federation, into the Russian Far East and found himself a Siberian Shaman who could have weened him off the benzos with some good ol' fashion Fly Agaric³ in a matter of weeks.

He would come back clearly in the camp of boomer conservatism, joining the ranks of The Daily Wire. Before his treatment and return, there was a degree of impartiality to his thought and persona. This impartiality gave his work and sentiments more weight. It seemed like he was coming from a place of just wanting to help the lost youths instead of pushing a particular side of "the culture war." But if that was ever actually the case, it certainly isn't now. And he clearly wasn't the same, I mean just look into his eyes and tell me they don't look dead inside in most photos and videos.

His reputation has only further declined, as recently he struggled to debate some of the most smug, snot nosed atheist on the rage bait generating Youtube channel Jubilee. Peterson just fumbled around with semantics and theoretical fence sitting for most of it, as the atheist spewed the usual talking points. Yet they managed to upstage the Doc of Disney archetypes. It was a collective fedora tip of victory that day. It's as if he’s just on autopilot, using the same rhetoric and reasoning from about a decade ago, when "woke" types were referred to as "SJWs." I really think whatever they did to him Russia did some sort of severe damage to his brain.

I was never a big "Petersonian" so I don't have much else to say. But its quite telling both have gone down the expensive online courses route, down to using the same marketing copy.

But what if you don't want to be grifted? What if there was a male figure you could model yourself off that is not just looking to grab you by the ankles and shake you for all your pocket change via obscenely priced online courses, or as a mark for clout?

Now it's time to meet your new daddy.

A Rooster

Pros

• Masculine to his core, will even fight farmer MacDonald

• Has a harem of big chicken breasted hens

• Intervenes when pecking order fights get out hand among hens

• Helps raise the little yellow chicks

• Will fight to fend off predators, letting loose a warning call if he spots a sky predator like a hawk

• Always up at sun rise, on that Alpha Cock Grindset

Cons

• Is a fucking chicken

You didn't misread any of that. And I'm only half joking here. A common barnyard rooster displays all the qualities men should have. Strong, yet caring. Not a weak simp for the women folk, or in this case hens, yet still paternalistic, trying to do what is best for his kin in the coup. Willing to fight to the death to protect his coup and his honor. As anyone who raises chickens will tell you, roosters don't take shit kindly, and will outright attack their own owners.

There is also a strong sense of duty with roosters. A duty largely rooted in being a dumb tiny feathered velociraptor, relying almost totally instinct, but a strong sense of duty that is so lacking among us modern hairless savanna apes. Imagine if Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita had been a rooster. Krishna wouldn't have to go on a book length pep talk, giving an exegesis on Hindu cosmology and ethics to convince Arjuna of his duty as a warrior, and to murder his family on the battle field. He could have just strapped some razor blades on his feet and thrown him right into the battle field. Rooster Arjuna would be drawing blood before Krishna even got a chance blow his conch.

The fact that the term "cock" is now mainly used to refer to ones penis is no accident. So reader, I ask you embrace your inner cock, feel your inner cock even if you don't have one in either sense of the term. Let loose some loud cries in praise of the rising sun, neighbors be damned!

With that, I bid you adduce with a loud roar of Cock-a-doooodleee Doooooo! And Happy Father's day to all the dad's reading this. Remember the mighty rooster tending to his coup as you tend to yours.

1. A “Stable” is a pimp term for a pimp’s harem of prostitutes

2. Song by outsider musician Grant MacDonald It really rocks.

3. Amanita muscaria, also known as Fly Agaric, is a mushroom who’s psychoactive compounds work on the same brain receptors as alcohol and benzos. There has been suggestions of using it as a way to help alcoholic and benzo addicts to ween themselves off those substances, similar to how kratom is used for opioid addicts.